Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Four weeks on...

Four weeks ago my gorgeous husband died. Four weeks. So, how do I feel?

forward looking....

I feel that I am more able to think now, to plan, to begin.

I have been joined by a rather sweet little lady: Pepper's mum Solitaire. She is keeping us all busy, and is definitely the boss of Pepper! One day I will tell the story of how Pepper and then Solitaire came into my life...

Anyhow I thought I would share the top tips, from my personal experience, to support bereavement:

Take something: Tissues, toilet rolls, cake, teabags and milk are all brilliant things to take, as is a simple meal you have cooked or can cook there. If you take flowers either take a vase or flowers that don't need a vase! The best and first thing to take is a pen and notebook.

Do something: If you are close enough walk the dog, put a load of washing in, wash up, clean the bathroom...

Write something: It is so hard to send cards, what to write? Put your address, email address and phone number in, and write a little personal note. These really help. Don't worry about making the recipient cry, we are allowed and it is lovely to have happy memories resurface. It also helps later on when the cards are re-read.

Send cards/email/phone in the weeks to follow as well as at first.

A pack of writing paper, envelopes, biros and stamps are very useful too as there is so much paperwork to do. Assistance with that is useful too.

I think I have learned just how many true friends I have. I have learned even more that if someone offers to help it is because they want to help, because they have been touched by the loss too. They have lost a friend, a brother, a colleague, a chance to go and do, or go and be....

I am off on my adventures, I have no idea where I will go, or what I will do, or who I will become, but I do know that I have been very blessed over the last five and a half years, blessed by an amazing passionate love, and I feel so much better for having had it. I will carry Mick's sunshine with me.

Someone sent me the link to this wonderful picture today of Mick taking the final salute at an event just under three years ago. It seemed very fitting for today, so I thought I would share it with you.

Go and count your blessings xxxx

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