Tuesday, 24 January 2012

The power of NO!

I have just re-read "The Yes Man" by Danny Wallace, where he decided, for a year, to say yes to everything! The book is a record of all his adventures on his journey to yes-dom.

Saying yes to everything is probably a bit extreme! My blog this evening is about the power of making a positive choice: The choice to say yes, and the choice to say no.

Sometimes we are so busy that we just keep getting loaded up with more and more and more jobs to do. Imagine a juggler, steadily managing his load of three balls, and someone throws him another. Then another, then another, and suddenly three balls are twelve, and what started as a simple balancing act is suddenly all consuming, and takes all your focus. One ball drops, then another. STOP! Do you ever say "No, what do you want me to not do?" Prioritise, delegate (this works upwards as well as downwards), and focus on the tasks that have to be done, and the ones it has to be you doing them!One of my "lovely boys" said to me the other day that it was hard saying no to a peer. I pointed out that if he could say no to me, and not always politely, then he had the ability to do it, but just needed support to develop the skill to be used in a more solution focussed way.

Learning to say yes is, I believe,at times more challenging than saying no. We are often so caught up in the juggling act that we forget to say yes to the opportunities that will enrich our day. Yes, I would love  a cup of tea ( and the chat that goes with it); Yes, I would like to go and see a film ( and spend some time with you); yes, I would love to go and have a hot bubble bath (and get some peace and quiet!). In short we need to say yes, to get a "win"

So what is a "win"? In order to convince someone to do something, or not do something, there needs to ba a "win" in it for them, they need to benefit by that action. A true win is where both parties win, and you both move forward with your relationship intact.

So, your homework today. In the next 24 hours identify one opportunity where you can say No, or Yes with authority, and offering a win. Make a positive choice, make a decision, and go for the win! Let me know how you get on.


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